Motherhood Takes on New Meaning

By Jim McCurdy

For a few Dallas College student-athletes, being a mom isn't just something they think about. It's something they live.

A freshman women's basketball player at Dallas College Cedar Valley, Kate Valle gave birth to her one-year-old daughter, Laloni Thomas, after graduating from high school. Valle took a year off after finishing high school, and then another four months before enrolling at Cedar Valley.

"Motherhood means everything to me," Valle said. "When I first had her, I was a little lost. Only 19 years old, didn't really have money, let alone a job to take care of her. It opened my eyes to show me what the real world could be, and what unconditional love really is, like how hard it is to fight for somebody that you have to raise."

Now she holds down a job, while taking classes and playing basketball.

Dallas College Brookhaven women's soccer players Isis Balderas and Megan Anderson both are moms themselves. Balderas has a two-year-old daughter, Xylah Gutierrez, whom she had at age 16. Anderson has a 16-month-old son, Samuel Perez.

"It helped me grow as a person," Balderas said. "I had to mature fast, whether I wanted to or not. It also taught me that nothing revolves around you anymore. It's about just that one little person."

To put it in sports' terms, motherhood is an assist.

"Something I've learned is that being a mother has never kept me from pursuing my dreams," Anderson said. "I don't think it keeps anyone from pursuing their dreams. If anything, it gives them more of a reason to pursue their dreams."

In the case of the Dallas College student-athletes, it helps being surrounded by a large support circle.

"I feel like I have a lot of people on my side," Valle said. "It was very easy for me to manage it. I'd take her to practice, and my coach was helping me watch her."

It also helps that her courses are online, which offers more flexibility.

"I think the main thing it's taught me is not to procrastinate," Valle said. "If I wait until the last second, I'll get behind, and then be more stressed out."

Her daughter comes to all of her games, and watches mom play alongside Valle's family.

"She keeps me calm," Valle said. "Any time I feel stressed out, I just kind of look at her. She keeps me going. I know I have to make it for her. I would've never gone back to college if it wasn't for her. I want her to follow in my footsteps as a good point of view to look at, and not just everybody saying, 'She won't go to college because she had a baby. She won't play basketball because she had a baby.' I feel like it's easier with a baby, giving you the motivation to wake up every morning."

Valle, who will return to Cedar Valley next year for her sophomore season, hopes to continue her basketball career at the four-year level, in addition to exploring overseas opportunities after college. Her backup plan is to pursue a career in criminal justice.

Recruiting Valle was like looking in mirror for Cedar Valley women's basketball coach Latasha Keith. That's because Keith had a son when she was a senior in high school.

"That was me when I was her age," Keith said. "When I met Kate, I looked at the situation as far as what my coaches did in high school and going into college. I looked at how my coaches and my teammates helped me with my son. Taking her in, and understanding her background and everything about her as a mother, I just had to put myself in her shoes and help her out. Being there for Kate … I just respected her as a young mother. I have a lot of respect for young mothers because, at the end of the day, it is a lot of work."

Valle has excelled through it all, putting up straight As in the classroom.

"Being there for her, I know that meant a lot for her, as far as being at practice and things like that," Keith said, "and understanding that she is a young mother that's trying to continue on with education, but also being a student-athlete. So just having her here reminds me of myself when I was in college."

Juggling all the responsibilities that come with being a student-athlete and a mother simultaneously has its challenges. These student-athletes don't deny that.

"I can say it's difficult, balancing everything, but at the end of the day, you're going to do your best to make sure you can give everything to your child," Balderas said. "No matter what, you try make sure everything's OK."

Anderson became familiar with her inner circle in a hurry.

"I definitely learned true friends and maturity," she said. "I'm able to spot that faster in people because I had to mature a lot faster in picking my goals faster in life so I can be able to have that ready for him, and be able to live on my own with him."

Anderson breast fed for the entire season, which carried its share of obstacles. But she sees a silver lining in it all.

"It really just helped me become a better athlete because I had to learn time management a lot," she said. "It helped build my stamina with breastfeeding because that sucks the life out of you."

Brookhaven head coach Jimmy Elder and assistant coach Robert Williams helped facilitate the dual role of mother and student-athlete for Balderas and Anderson. Elder affectionately calls himself, "grandpa."

"Jimmy and Robert will let me bring Xylah to practice sometimes," Balderas said. "If she'll cry, Jimmy or Robert will help, or whoever is sitting out helps a lot. I can say I have a really big support system on and off the field. Her being at my games, and everything overall, is something to cherish. I think a lot of coaches wouldn't be as understanding as them."

Anderson, who lives with her parents, became pregnant during high school, and gave birth to Samuel after graduating. She took a year off before attending Brookhaven.

"It was a little shocking at first, obviously," she said. "The first four to six months of his life, I stayed home with him."

Having previously torn her ACL twice, Anderson didn't know if soccer was in the fold again. Her son reignited her passion.

"I wouldn't have come back to soccer if I didn't feel called by God," Anderson said. "I'm able to grow my faith because I want my son to have the best life, so that includes God. I know He has the best plan for my life, and that includes Samuel, too."

Samuel was the connective tissue, if you will, to bringing his mom back on the pitch.

"Honestly, he inspired me to go back to soccer because I didn't want him to see me give up on my dreams," she said. "It was a little difficult with school and him, and I've had to bring him to practices and games and lots of team events. But he came to Nationals with us in New York, and he's come to overnight trips with us. It's difficult at times."

Yet they've managed, and learned so much in the process. In fact, these Dallas College student-athletes have acquiesced the gift of offering motherly advice.

"Don't give up on any of your dreams," Balderas said. "Whether you're expecting a child, don't let it stop you from what you want to do in life."